Current sentiment

Oh em gee I'm screwed.

Things...

I am currently very happy about tomorrows holiday, which means no school for me. I'm thinking of working on my drawing homework in the park. And maybe some of the other sorely neglected work I have on deck.


Yesterday we drove to LA to see Tim and Eric at FYF fest. Yeah I'm a bit obsessed.






Before, we made a pitstop in lovely and affluent Brentwood to pay a visit to the Mount St. Marys West LA campus.

No reason in particular.




Also The OC was shot there so I had to seize the opportunity to fangirl out of control.




I really felt the spirit of Marissa Cooper, alive and Chanel-clad in the courtyard.




Elliott, of course, was fangirling out of control.




And yeah...I'm a loser.



We got back to San Luis Obispo at about 2 AM. This is the coolest tunnel on the 101, somewhere between Santa Barbara and Buellton (Maybe? or maybe Solvang, that Dutch-inspired town with the Ostrich farm).




Anyways...I'm really starting to assimilate to the life here in SLO.
I want to be famous, but only to justify the amount of time I spend on my blog entries.

I keep thinking of Southern California

I feel sort of homesick. Not so much for the hustle and bustle of San Diego. I guess for the family and friends i've left behind here.

Went to Cambria today to spend time with my grandmother and sister and cousins who just spent the week up there. They rented a beautiful house that overlooked the water. It was very peaceful. Went on a two-mile walk. Ate actual food (I've been pretty malnourished seeing as I can't cook for myself) and brought leftovers home.

I really fought back tears saying goodbye to my grandma. She is my rock. We've been through so much together. I spent every day with her during my treatment. It was so hard to keep from losing it when she hugged me goodbye.

I don't feel like I did when I left home two years ago. Back then I knew in my heart that the choice I had made was not the right one. Now, I feel like right now I'm in the right place at the right time. I guess its just never very easy to say goodbye to your loved ones.

I just keep telling myself to press on. Every day gets a little bit easier, and sometimes we backtrack but the next day we wake up and put on our shoes and walk forward into another day with another roller coaster of emotions.

Life isn't static...and that is the pain in the ass.

Arrr Mateys

I ate vegetables covered in Thai curry sauce for dinner. I think cooking for myself is going to be a long and arduous process. However, it was delicious.

I start 1/2 of my classes tomorrow...My two IRL classes at Cuesta. 2-8 rawr.

Went to Morro Bay today. Such a peaceful little town that sounds like delicious seafood. I saw a lot of seals and the giant rock. Also did some thrifting. Stopping shopping is also going to be a long and arduous process as well. The other half of the day was spent looking for a job. I have about ten applications I have to fill out, a few of which I have completely forgotten who they are for.

My roommate is making peanut butter cookies. I have a very cozy room where all of my furniture fits. and unbeknown to me, my clothes fit in my closet.

There is a very calming atmosphere about this place. People stop for pedestrians, nobody honks at you to move a second after the light turns green. There are places to park and half the time you don't even need to drive. People move at a slower, more relaxed pace.

I like it up here. So far, so good.

Leaving on a jet plane

Actually more like "Leaving in a Volvo"

I feel more ready this time. I am excited to decorate my room.
But I can't help but feel like once it sinks in i'm going to become homesick.
I miss my friends and family already.
I'm one of those people that just doesn't like the end of things.










Stay tuned for chapter 2!

Today

I'm kind of productive today at work. And I am fighting off the urge to drink a Coke.



If it werent for color coating my databases in fun vibrant colors, I don't think I would want to come to work.

A good old fashioned blog post.

I can't believe how fast time has passed. I'm moving next Saturday. I'm sorta starting to feel sentimental about leaving San Diego (but more on that later). Maybe I can make an epic photo montage like they do in the series finale of all those tv shows.

I am completely obsessed with Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job.

Great Times

I just got a clean chest X-ray back. Truly thankful for the life I have and the life ahead. I'm sitting at my cubicle doing menial office work, researching information for the North County Transit District. I have gotten into the habit of taking my shoes off when sitting down. I hate wearing shoes. I have a somewhat broken down car that has a lot of character and I have a messy room and a plethora of great friends and family who are constantly supportive. Comic Con is tomorrow, and friday, and saturday.

I think what we have here is called....Happiness.

We've been on the run, driving in the sun

God I miss this show.

Final

Last final today!
Could not come soon enough.
Yay! I feel like I'm actually starting to care about things other than school finally!
I think I will celebrate by watching hulu for hours.
Ay chico.

School takes over my life!

I miss drawing and being creative.
I must get back into the groove.

Aye. Finals. Please let me pass!

Facebook

I have 4 final exams and a final project in which I need to paint and STILL, I end up on facebook.

Epic fail.

On the bright side, I fulfilled my Honors requirement despite me not turning in my last honors paper. Good times.

I think copacetic describes it.

Hello Blogosphere!

I think I'm in a pretty bad place when I have to keep ditching classes in order to get my homework done for other classes. I think i'm in an even worse place when I spend that allotted time on the internet.

I have a math test at 12. I am 1/4 the way done with the material. This semester has not been my strongest. I need to finish strong! Two weeks left, which is exciting yet terrifying.

I've been really happy lately. I feel like things have been going very well. Besides the chaos of school. I've been spending a lot of time with wonderful family and friends. I have a pretty cool job for the summer and I opted not to take math for summer school. Instead I'm gonna take a five week history class, something a little more my speed. I am looking forward to taking a lot of time to relax and spend time with friends and family over the summer. Plus, I have had really good luck at thrift stores/buffalo exchange lately, which is really more than anybody can ask for.

Except for those bitches at Flashbacks who didn't buy that sequined dress from me and proceeded to give me that typical hipster scowl while turning my items down. Bitches. Youtube commenters and hipsters are the scum of the earth. Yet I still support their business...who is the real fool?

I think after 19 years I am really starting to figure out what makes me happy. It's as simple as going for a walk on the beach, having photoshoots in the park, Yogurt Wednesdays, eating delicious food, yelling things out car windows, having ridiculous dance parties in cars, nonsense at 4 am with my best friends and general tomfoolery. I feel like right now is the "calm after the storm." After all of the havoc and the stress of last year, I feel like I'm finally starting to get back into line. Finally.

So I was on facebook this morning (for once) and I saw my Dad's facebook status and it made me want to cry...

Daniel Aguilar Leaving for South Dakota early
in the morning. I'm running the Fargo 1/2 Marathon
on Saturday. Dedicating this to my daughter Scarlett,
who's bravery and determination this past year has
inspired me more than anyone in my life. Wish me luck!

Maybe all of the horror meant something. I don't think I'll every fully know what, but I was very humbled by this. Good luck Dad!

Now onto that mountain of math homework.

Revealing life lessons

I think I am definitely one of those people that always starts on the wrong side of the burrito (the side with more tortilla). I begin eating and by the end I am straining to keep all of the delicious fixings inside. I think this is a revealing life lesson.

Nonetheless...I just ate a delicious burrito. It was an impulse buy. But the notion of eating a burrito sounded like fun.

Why am I blogging? I have mountains of homework to do (what else is new?) The internet always tends to reel me in with its wily charms.

I would rather be frolicking in the jungle with my leopard friends.

Debbie Downer is dead.

Yes she is. I'm tired of being Debbie Downer, so I won't be anymore. I have decided to change my attitude (or maybe its the Zoloft kicking in?) Anyway...

What up America? I have been feeling inspired lately to pursue my dream to be a celebrity blogger. Unfortunately, I really don't have much interesting to say...I watched "Parks and Recreation" last night and it used the exact same template as The Office. Amy Poehler is a female version of Michael Scott. Why can't people be original anymore? Disappointing...

I managed to let my entire break go by without cracking a book. Good job! But now I have a thousand things to do due on monday. FML.

I am in desperate need of some snacks.

So....later?

A self deprecating one for a change...

I know I have said this before, but I will say it again. I feel like I am incapable of having a very good blog because the only times I ever resort to blogging is when I feel depressed and alone. I realize it but it seems that I can never manage to break that cycle.

It is however very cathartic:

I'm becoming very sick of the person that I am. I am incapable of living in the moment, I am very spiteful of people, I make myself sick with worry, I put so much unfair pressure on myself. I am not a nice person, I am judgmental and I hold a grudge like no other. I feel like even my closest friends think I'm a nutcase and distance themselves from me, and its my fault. I honestly feel like if I knew me, that I would hate me.

I can't help but feel like I've been left behind by everybody. I feel like while I was in treatment and recovering, everybody else moved on, grew up, and made new friends. After I "awoke" from this little bubble I had been in, I noticed that people had made new friends and were doing new things. Whereas I had stayed the same. It has made me realize that there is really nothing left for me in San Diego. Most everybody is gone, everybody is moving on and I cannot stay the same person I have become. Feeling this way has turned me into a very spiteful, reclusive person and I feel like staying here will only exacerbate everything.

Writing blog posts like this is like drunk dialing...in the morning you feel stupid and wish you didn't do it.

I am so cool.

Currently I am sitting at the Living Room in Point Loma updating my neglected blogger site. I am attempting to write my essay about Machiavelli's the Prince, but the words are just not happening. I think the reason that its just not happening is the same reason why I can't seem to update this blogger site, I have had a terrible 7-month case of writers block, even though with all that I have been through, I can't really seem to come up with any words to say. I think half the time I try too hard to be smart, witty, and unique when I am writing. So I guess I should stop trying and just come to terms with it all... (Ellipses are the greatest thing ever.)

So besides being really cool and trendy and writing my blog/doing my homework in a coffee shop, I also went to the rummage sale in Balboa Park today and bought several things at bargain prices with Anna. I bought a really cool windbreaker and a blanket and some pillows. I also bought a sweater as an impulse buy. It was an absolutely fugly sweater. However, it has some of the brightest colors I have ever seen. I asked Anna "How could anybody ever be depressed while wearing this sweater?" Then I realized, I needed this sweater.

I

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