Revealing life lessons

I think I am definitely one of those people that always starts on the wrong side of the burrito (the side with more tortilla). I begin eating and by the end I am straining to keep all of the delicious fixings inside. I think this is a revealing life lesson.

Nonetheless...I just ate a delicious burrito. It was an impulse buy. But the notion of eating a burrito sounded like fun.

Why am I blogging? I have mountains of homework to do (what else is new?) The internet always tends to reel me in with its wily charms.

I would rather be frolicking in the jungle with my leopard friends.

Debbie Downer is dead.

Yes she is. I'm tired of being Debbie Downer, so I won't be anymore. I have decided to change my attitude (or maybe its the Zoloft kicking in?) Anyway...

What up America? I have been feeling inspired lately to pursue my dream to be a celebrity blogger. Unfortunately, I really don't have much interesting to say...I watched "Parks and Recreation" last night and it used the exact same template as The Office. Amy Poehler is a female version of Michael Scott. Why can't people be original anymore? Disappointing...

I managed to let my entire break go by without cracking a book. Good job! But now I have a thousand things to do due on monday. FML.

I am in desperate need of some snacks.

So....later?

A self deprecating one for a change...

I know I have said this before, but I will say it again. I feel like I am incapable of having a very good blog because the only times I ever resort to blogging is when I feel depressed and alone. I realize it but it seems that I can never manage to break that cycle.

It is however very cathartic:

I'm becoming very sick of the person that I am. I am incapable of living in the moment, I am very spiteful of people, I make myself sick with worry, I put so much unfair pressure on myself. I am not a nice person, I am judgmental and I hold a grudge like no other. I feel like even my closest friends think I'm a nutcase and distance themselves from me, and its my fault. I honestly feel like if I knew me, that I would hate me.

I can't help but feel like I've been left behind by everybody. I feel like while I was in treatment and recovering, everybody else moved on, grew up, and made new friends. After I "awoke" from this little bubble I had been in, I noticed that people had made new friends and were doing new things. Whereas I had stayed the same. It has made me realize that there is really nothing left for me in San Diego. Most everybody is gone, everybody is moving on and I cannot stay the same person I have become. Feeling this way has turned me into a very spiteful, reclusive person and I feel like staying here will only exacerbate everything.

Writing blog posts like this is like drunk dialing...in the morning you feel stupid and wish you didn't do it.